20160514
Didn't get near the progress I had hoped over the last week. I've read in a couple articles now that people tend to paint a clearly positive view of their lives on social media, Facebook in particular. The admonition from some is to share the trials and tribulations too so that readers understand that there is still diversity and in doing so, perhaps help them through something of their own. To that end, progress has been slow because I'm in pain.
Four weeks ago I got off a plane and proceeded to limp for the entirety of a business trip. It felt like those charlie horses you get in your calf that will jerk you out of a deep sleep. Usually stretching helps ease the pain and eventually it ebbs. My leg hasn't. It's that same intensity constantly. I finally made it into a doctor who rushed me to an ER. They did ultra sounds to verify it wasn't a clot. I came up clean. Apparently that was sufficient for the doctor as I was sent home with painkillers. A week later, I'm at a orthopedic surgeon asking what's wrong. X-rays show clean and I've scheduled for a session with a spinal clinic. A chiropractor is helping and pain killers can help take the edge off, but I'm still in a ton of pain. And it's spreading...
Last weekend I ended up going home from a family event. Apparently it's possible to be in enough pain to mess up other systems and cause upset stomach and headaches.
I have considerable more sympathy for those that live with chronic pain. I simply didn't understand what it implied. Truth be known, I'm scared. Scared that this may not be temporary, scared that there is something seriously wrong that doctors have missed. That background fear is messing with me. I'm the strong one, the one friends call when they need physical strength to help with a move or the mechanical know-how to be the one confident enough to push a problem just a little harder.
The thought of that no longer being the case keeps me up at night. But that's where things stand. If I limp, it's cause I hurt, but thus far, it won't stop me from doing what I think needs to be done.
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